A Rooster and a Lamb in Love, a US Acres fanfic
by jolttheroadrunner23
Summary: Roy is sick of being beaten by Lanolin over and over and tries to make a revenge plan but he feels somewhat attracted to Lanolin.
1. Chapter 1: Beaten by a Sheep 1 Week

At the farm Roy was bruised and had on bandages and was complaining about losing to Lanolin as usual.

"Man, I just can't beat that bitch sheep, every time I try to outsmart her, it's always the other way around, first was day 1.

Day 1-

One day at the farm, Lanolin was walking around in the farm in a grumpy mood as usual and then Roy came up to her and trolled her.

"Hey cotton hoe, I wanna see how tough you really are!", challenged Roy.

"You want it you got it, asshole!", said Lanolin as he punched Roy so hard, he soared through the farm and into the barn and it left Roy bruised.

"Wow, I'm amazed", said Roy dazed.

"And then came day 2!"

Day 2-

Lanolin was sleeping and Roy sneakily came with his trumpet and proceeded to wake her up by blowing his trumpet loudly and Lanolin rocketed up to the roof and back down again.

"Hahahahahaha, that was so funny!", laughed Roy until just then Lanolin grabbed him by the beak and beated the living shit out of him and soon Roy was stuck in his trumpet.

"I fucking hate you", Roy said to Lanolin and walked off.

"Thirdly day 3!"

Day 3-

Lanolin was walking around the farm when Roy appeared in front of her.

"Hey Lanolin, your teeth's got a gap that needs to be fixed!", said Roy rudely as Lanolin retaliated by grabbing Roy's tongue and tying it to a tree.

"Unthie me thith fucking Instanth!", said Roy with his tongue still tied to the tree.

"And then fucking Day 4!"

Day 4-

Lanolin was as usual walking around the farm as Roy sneaked up to her in a mask and tried to scare her.

"BOO!", said Roy as Lanolin turned around and let out a big roaring baa.

"BAAAAAAA!", said Lanolin as the masked ripped off of Roy along with his feathers as he fell to the ground frozen while Lanolin walked away.

"Wow, her scare's even fucking scarier than mine!", said Roy still frozen to the ground.

"And Day 5"

Day 5-

Roy was walking around the farm when he spotted Lanolin looking fine and walked up to her.

"Hey Lan, you want some hot fries with that shake?", said Roy being a pervert.

Lanolin retaliated by beating up Roy and left him bruised.

"A simple "no" would've been sufficed", said Roy as he walked away.

"And then Day 6"

Day 6-

Lanolin was fixing her hair in front of a mirror when Roy came up to her and insulted her.

"Hey Lanolin, yep looking fine as ever, just one problem, you have a little something on your face", said Roy as Lanolin raised her fist and gave Roy a big punch.

"Doesn't she ever get tired of doing that!", said Roy bruised.

"And finally Day 7"

Day 7-

Lanolin was looking at herself in the mirror when Roy saw her and walked up to her angry.

"Ok sheep bitch, you wanna go, we'll go!, I'm gonna knock you out so hard, you'll be bleeding all over!, just try me and I'll be seeing you at the hospital!, come on, put em' up!", said Roy as he pulled up his feathers on his arms and raised up his fists.

"This is too fucking easy", said Lanolin as she grabbed Roy's tongue and slammed him to the ground a few times and spinned him around in the air until she let go and sent Roy flying far away to the ground.

"What a fucking idiot", said Lanolin.

"Ooohh that does it, I'm gonna get that hoe if it's the last thing I do!", said Roy.

End of Chapter 1 


	2. Chapter 2: The Wild Night

Roy was setting up a revenge-joke for Lanolin which was a fake monster wrapped inside a blue present with a apology note.

"Hehehehe, once she's done reading the note, she'll open this present and this monster will scare the shit out of here!", said Roy.

Roy went over to where Lanolin was and hid in a bush and watched as she was looking at herself through a mirror in a lacy garter.

"Look how beautiful I look", said Lanolin.

Roy's jaw then dropped, she had never seen her in such sexiest dress, he started to get a boner and drooled all over the grass.

"Oh boy, I wanna fuck her so bad!, on second thought, forget about the present, I want some of that, but wait, before I have sex with her, I gotta get condoms", said Roy as he rushed off to get condoms.

As soon as he came back with condoms, he went to the barn and thought to himself.

"Hmmm, so what, no one will find out, we'll keep it a secret, no one will know we're dating".

Roy walked over to where Lanolin was and greeted her.

"What do you want beak breath!?", asked Lanolin.

"Say Lanolin, about that dress, is it new?", asked Roy.

"Well I just got it a few weeks ago, why?", asked Lanolin.

"Because I think you're fucking hot!", said Roy.

"Ooohh you do?", said Lanolin.

"Yeah!, yeah!", said Roy perverted.

Lanolin thought to herself. "This is my chance to get Roy to listen to me, I'll use my sexism to get what I want from that rooster, he'll never insult me again!", she thought.

"Hey Roy, I was thinking you wanna have sex tonight?", asked Lanolin.

"Why yeah, that'd be fun!", said Roy.

"Great, oh and did you bring protection?", asked Lanolin.

"Of course!", said Roy.

"Okay, see you tonight, rooster booster", said Lanolin.

"Whatever you say toots!", said Roy.

As soon as it was nightime, Roy and Lanolin go to the barn and lock it inside and they start to make out. As soon as they were done making out, Roy straps on a condom and he and Lanolin lie down and Roy started to fuck her.

"Ohhh!, uhhh!, uhhh!, uhhh!, ohhh!, Roy!, Roy!, fuck me harder and faster!", moaned Lanolin.

"Okay toots!", said Roy and he picked up the pace and put some force into it.

"You like it Lanolin, huh!?", asked Roy.

"Oh yes!, Yes!, do me harder Roy!, do me harder!, faster!", squealed Lanolin as she moaned even louder.

Roy fucked her harder and faster and gave her much pleasure.

"Oh Roy!, harder!", squealed Lanolin.

"I'm gonna cum!", said Roy.

"It's okay, do it on me!", said Lanolin.

Roy then took off the condom off quickly and cummed all over Lanolin and both were exhausted after sex.

"Oh Roy, that, was, amazing!", said Lanolin still with cum all over her.

"I know right, let's do it again!", said Roy ready for round 2.

"Okay", said Lanolin.

"This time, I'll eat your pussy", said Roy.

"Oh yeah do it!", said Lanolin.

Roy licks his beak lips and puts his mouth in Lanolin's pussy

"Oh god Roy!, do me harder!, faster!, faster!, faster!", squealed Lanolin.

Roy was licking through Lanolin's pussy fast like hell and didn't stop once.

"Oh Roy!, that's it!, lick it faster!, uhhh!, uhhh!, uhhh!, ohhh!", screamed Lanolin.

Roy kept eating that pussy up until Lanolin was about to cum.

"Roy!, I'm gonna cum!", cried Lanolin and seconds later, she exploded in Roy's mouth.

Roy licked the cum all from his mouth.

"You're cum is so good, Lan!", said Roy.

"Thank you, Roy", said Lanolin.

"Now I wanna fuck you in the asshole!", said Roy.

"Do it man!", said Lanolin.

Then they fucked all night until they were all tired from the sex they had tonight and fell asleep.

"I love you Lanolin", said Roy.

"I love you Roy", said Lanolin as she and Roy fell asleep.

End of Chapter 2 


	3. Chapter 3: Worms and Fox Problems

The next morning, Roy and Lanolin wake up naked from the wild sex last night.

"Good morning Lanolin", said Roy.

"Good morning Roy", said Lanolin.

"Boy, we had the night of our lives last night, haven't we", asked Roy.

"We sure did, we should do it again tonight!", said Lanolin.

"For sure, anyway see you around", said Roy.

"See you too", said Lanolin.

Roy was then walking about when a worm came running by him.

"What the hell?", said Roy shocked as just a second later, Booker came rushing by him.

"Out of the way Roy, I'm chasing a worm!", said Booker.

"Hope you catch it this time!", said Roy.

"I'll get you this time you scumbag worm!", said Booker.

The worm jumped inside his hole and Booker stops and peeks inside.

"Phfbbbt!", teased the worm.

"Oh don't worry worm, I'll get you!", said Booker as he ran off for a second and seconds later he comes back with a shotgun.

"Alright you bastard, if you don't come out of there by the count of ten, I'm gonna blast you!", said Booker as he pointed the shotgun at the hole.

"1..., 2…, 3…, 4…, 5…, 6…, 7…, 8…, 9…, 10!", counted Booker then a finger stick comes from the hole and sticks it into the gun and it blasts Booker instead.

"Hehehehehe", giggled the worm mischievously.

Booker came by Roy looking blasted.

"Let me guess", said Roy.

"Don't say a word!", said Booker angrily.

Roy continued to walk by the farm until Wade ran up to him looking scared as usual.

"Oh Roy, you won't believe this!", said Wade panickedly.

"Oh what won't I believe Wade?, another retarded story about something scaring you?", asked Roy.

"No this is serious!, the chickens are missing, oh we don't know who took them, it could be the weasel, the fox, or the wolf", said Wade telling the truth.

"Oh boy, well we better tell Orson this!", said Roy as he and Wade rushed off to tell Orson about the chicken theft.

"Hey Orson!, did you hear about the chickens being stolen?, Wade told me!", said Roy.

"Yes, we have to stop whoever took them, and I know just how", said Orson.

"How!?", asked Roy and Wade.

"With this, ta-da!, my very own predator tracker!", said Orson showing his predator tracker.

"Whoop-de-doo ladies and gentleman!", said Roy sarcastically.

"Now let's find those chickens!", said Orson as he and Roy and Wade went after him.

The group were still looking for the predator until the radar was picking up waves.

"Aha, I found it, it looks like a fox is holding the chickens hostage!", said Orson.

"Boy, is he in for it now!", said Roy.

The fox was carrying a bag full of hens and was planning to eat them.

"Boy I am gonna be stuffed after eating all of these chickens!", said the fox.

"Hey not so fast!", said Orson.

"Yeah, give back those chickens!", said Wade.

"Oh shit, gotta run!", said the fox as he ran from the group.

"Come back here!", said Orson as he and Roy and Wade chased him.

The group chased the fox until the fox wasn't paying attention while taunting them and ran into a tree.

"Well we'd better get these chickens back to the farm before he wakes up!", said Orson as he grabbed the bag full of hens and ran away along with Roy and Wade who follow him.

"Ooohh, and I'll be ready for tonight for sex with Lanolin!", said Roy to himself.

End of Chapter 3 


	4. Chapter 4: Condoms and a Dildo

As soon as it was getting dark, Roy went out to get condoms, then he had another idea. "I'll get a dildo and I'll shove it in Lanolin's anus", thought Roy as he went to the store to get a pack of condoms and a big dildo and came back to the barn and waited for Lanolin.

"She should be here any minute", said Roy as he was anxious and decided to call her.

Lanolin was freshing up until the phone rang and answered it.

"Hello?", said Lanolin.

"Hey Lan, you almost ready?", asked Roy.

"Almost Roy, I'm just getting dressed in a red lace garter", said Lanolin.

"Good, I got a surprise for you when you come!", said Roy.

"Goodie, I'll be right over, bye!", said Lanolin hanging up.

"Oh ho ho ho, we're gonna have an epic night!", said Roy.

Roy waited and waited for Lanolin to arrive and a few minutes later the barn door was banging. Roy answered it and as soon as he opened the door, his eyes popped wide open. He saw Lanolin in a red lace garter dress and was already getting a boner and gazed at Lanolin while drooling.

"Uh Roy?", asked Lanolin.

"Oh sorry, so about my surprise, Ta-da", said Roy as he showed Lanolin a dildo.

"Ohhhh, Roy, thank you, I want you to shove it up my pussy and ass hard!", said Lanolin.

"Okay", said Roy as Lanolin pulled down her panties and Roy immediately shoved the dildo in her pussy.

"Ohhh!, uhhh!, uhhh!, shove it harder!, faster Roy!", cried Lanolin.

"You got it Lanolin!", said Roy as he shoved it harder.

The faster Roy shoves the dildo, the louder Lanolin screams as her climax started to build up and her pussy started to get wet.

"Uhhh!, uhhh!, uhhh!, ohhh!, more Roy, morrrreeee!", moaned Lanolin.

Lanolin screamed as she was getting fucked with the dildo more and more and was having great pleasure.

"More Roy!, Roy!, Roy!, Uhhhhh!, I'm gonna cum!", cried Lanolin as she orgasmed through the dildo.

"I like your cum!", said Roy as he licked the dildo.

"Thanks Roy", said Lanolin.

"Hey Lanolin, can you suck my hard dick!?", asked Roy.

"Sure!", said Lanolin as she put her mouth on Roy's dick and started sucking hard.

"Oh yeah!, suck it hard Lanolin!, suck it hard!", yelled Roy.

Lanolin sucked harder and harder and Roy started moaning loudly.

"Oh yeah!, yeah!, yeah!, faster Lanolin!", screamed Roy.

Lanolin was sucking Roy's dick faster. "Oh Lanolin!, Lanolin!, Lanolin!, I'm about to cum!", yelled Roy as seconds later, he climaxed in Lanolin's mouth.

"You're cum is so amazing Roy!", complemented Lanolin.

"Thanks Lan", said Roy.

"Now you're asshole!", said Roy.

"Anytime, rooster", said Lanolin.

Roy straps on a condom and shoves his dick in Lanolin's anus.

"Ohhh!, ohhhh!, uhhhh!, uhhhhh!, ohhhh!, Roy!, please!, more!", cried Lanolin.

"Roy!, Fuck yes!, fuck yes!, oh god!, R-ROY!", screamed Lanolin.

"Oh god!, Oh yes, Fuck me harder!", squealed Lanolin.

"Oh god I'm gonna cum Lan!",.said Roy as his climax was close to coming out of his dick.

"DO IT ROY!, screamed Lanolin as Roy took the condom off and exploded all over Lanolin and both were exhausted and sweaty from fucking, then he started to rub her ass feeling how soft it was.

"You have such a soft ass Lan!", said Roy.

"Thanks Roy!", said Lanolin.

"Good night Roy", said Lanolin.

"Good night, fuzzy ass", said Roy.

"Oh shut up", said Lanolin as Roy grinned and both fell asleep.

End of Chapter 4 


	5. Chapter 5: An Unknown Accident

The next morning, Roy and Lanolin woke up with messy feathers and wool.

"Boy, we had fun last night Roy!", said Lanolin.

"You said it Lanolin!", said Roy.

"So let's still keep this a secret, okay Roy?", said Lanolin.

"Okay Lan!", said Roy making a deal.

"Then it's settled, we won't tell anyone we're in love", said Lanolin.

"Deal!", said Roy agreeing.

Roy and Lanolin kept their mouths shut about them dating and just acted like they usually do.

"Hey cotton swab, you'd better back off before you be the death of me!", argued Roy.

"Yeah well why don't you try it if you're not a big pussy!", said Lanolin.

Blue and Cody walked passed them not wanting to get involved.

"Boy they're fighting again as usual", said Cody.

"Never gets old", said Blue.

"It worked!", whispered Roy.

"Just keep fighting!", whispered Lanolin back.

"Nobody can hurt me without my permission!", said Roy.

"Who ever said anything about permission Buzzard Beak!", said Lanolin.

Booker and Sheldon walked passed by them ignoring the fight between them.

"Think we should do something Booker?", asked Sheldon.

"Nah, let them go on, they'll never learn to be pacifists", said Booker.

"Oh well", said Sheldon.

"It's working", whispered Roy and Lanolin.

And so on and so on, Roy and Lanolin pretended to hate each other so the others seem that they don't like each other still and the others would as usual prefer not to get in the middle of the "fight".

"Boy, everyone's buying it!", said Roy.

"And yet they still don't know we're in love!", said Lanolin.

Then Roy and Lanolin looked around them to make sure no one was watching and they lick and pucker their lips and they pressed their moistened lips together.

They made out hard as they were grabbing each other and laid to the ground while continuously making out.

Later on that day, Orson was inside the barn and looking for supplies for the garden until he found something strange.

"Huh, what's this?", said Orson as he picked it up and it was Roy's dildo.

"What the fuck!?", exclaimed Orson and he saw something else, it was also Roy's condoms.

"Condoms too!?, I gotta tell my friends about this!", said Orson as he rushed off to warn his friends.

End of Chapter 5 


	6. Chapter 6: The Secret Revealed

After finding the dildo and condoms, Orson started spread rumors about a couple having sex to everyone in the farm (although he was completely unaware that it was actually Roy and Lanolin), starting with Wade.

"Hey Wade, are you aware that a couple was having sex in a barn?", asked Orson.

"What makes you say that?", asked Wade.

"This", said Orson as he showed him Roy's dildo and used condoms.

"YAAAAHHH!, A couple having sex in a barn!?, Oh help!, help!, somebody save us!, I don't want STD's!", screamed Wade as he ran off to tell his other friends.

"Wade, you're such a pussy", said Orson.

Wade ran until he ran in Bo.

"Hey Wade, what's up?", asked Bo.

"Oh Bo!, you won't believe this!, Orson told me that he knew about a couple having sex in a barn and he proved it to me by showing me a dildo and used condoms!", exclaimed Wade.

"Really, We gotta tell the others man!", said Bo as he and Wade rush off to tell the others.

Wade and Bo ran until they came to Booker and Sheldon.

"Hey guys, what are you guys doing?", asked Booker.

"Hey did you guys hear, Orson told us he knew about a couple having sex in a barn and he proved it to Wade by showing him a dildo and used condoms!", said Bo.

"What, are you serious!?, we gotta tell the others!", said Sheldon as he Wade, Booker, and Bo rush off to tell their other friends.

Wade, Booker, Sheldon, and Bo run into Blue and Cody.

"Hey guys, how are y'all doing?" asked Blue.

"You guys won't believe this, Orson told us he knew about a couple having sex in a barn and he proved it to Wade by showing him a dildo and used condoms!", said Booker.

"What the fuck!?", exclaimed Cody.

"We gotta tell Roy and Lanolin!", said Blue as she, Wade, Booker, Sheldon, Bo, and Cody rush off to tell Roy and Lanolin.

Roy was walking around in the farm.

"Oh Lanolin, you make me feel aroused 100% when you're dressed up", said Roy to himself as just then Wade, Booker, Sheldon, Bo, Blue and Cody rush up in front of him.

"Hey losers what's up?", said Roy rudely.

"Hey Roy, did you hear that Orson told us he knew about a couple having sex in a barn and he proved it to Wade by showing him a dildo and used condoms!", said Blue.

"Oh", said Roy realizing that he left his dildo and his used condoms in the barn and now scared that the secret will be revealed.

"Oh, I don't know who it was, I wasn't involved, now leave me alone!", said Roy lying.

"Whatever, let's go tell Lanolin!", said Booker as he, Wade, Sheldon, Bo, Blue and Cody rush off to tell Lanolin.

"Oh shit, we're dead meat!", said Roy scared.

"Man, I'm starting to feel for Roy too, I haven't had a boyfriend yet, he would be the perfect one for me", said Lanolin as just then Wade, Booker, Sheldon, Bo, Blue and Cody appear in front of her.

"What is it you guys want?", asked Lanolin.

"Hey Sis, did you hear, Orson told us he knew about a couple having sex in a barn and he proved it to Wade by showing him a dildo and used condoms!", said Bo.

"Oh, no I didn't know about the incident in the barn, thanks for letting me know", said Lanolin lying now scared that they know about her and Roy last night.

"Oh well, you're welcome sis, come on guys, let's tell Orson!", said Bo as he and the rest go back to Orson.

"Oh shit, now we're fucked!", said Lanolin.

The rest came back to Orson and told them that they didn't know about the incident including Roy and Lanolin who lied about it unbeknownst to them.

"Alright!, alright!, I know, I'm aware too, I found the dildo and used condoms", said Orson as he showed Roy's sex equipment.

"Gasp!", said the others.

"Man, we have to find whoever was in that barn and make them pay!", said Orson.

"Yeah, like teach them not to spread STD's or other diseases around this farm!", said Wade.

Meanwhile, Roy and Lanolin find each other.

"Hey Lanolin, are you okay?", asked Roy.

"No, I'm not okay, our friends came up to me and asked me about a couple having sex in the barn", said Lanolin.

"Wait, don't tell me!", said Lanolin.

"Yeah, they asked me too", said Roy.

"Oh man, what are we gonna do?", asked Lanolin worried.

"Well guess we gotta tell them the truth, right?", asked Roy.

"I guess your right", said Lanolin as they rushed to find Orson and friends.

"So where do we start?", asked Cody.

"We gotta look around the farm and find anymore items from those strangers", said Orson.

Roy and Lanolin then appear in front of everybody.

"Guys wait, there's something we got to tell you!", said Roy.

"What is it?", asked Orson.

"It was us", admitted Lanolin.

"What!", exclaimed the others.

"Yeah, it was us having sex in the barn, I bought the dildo and the condoms and Lanolin and I were doing it hard last night", admitted Roy.

"What, why didn't you tell me this sis?", asked Bo.

"Why didn't you tell us this?", said Orson.

"Because we didn't want you guys to think we're in love because you'll tease us", said Roy.

"Tease you, hahahahahahaha!", laughed the others.

"Why in the hell would we ever tease you?", said Booker.

"Because you know we always hate each other", said Lanolin.

"Well it's true that you guys hate each other, but you could have at least told us that you also feel affectionate for each other", said Blue.

"We know, we're sorry", said Roy and Lanolin.

"Well you're forgiven for telling us the truth but I hope you guys learned a lesson", said Orson.

"Yes, never keep love a secret", said Roy.

"Especially when other people find out who was having sex wherever", said Lanolin.

"And you can have sex in the barn, just as long as you clean up your mess when you're done", said Orson.

"Yes, thanks Orson", said Roy and Lanolin.

"Anytime, guys", said Orson.

Later that night, Roy was waiting at the barn waiting for Lanolin to arrive.

"Come on Lanolin, I wanna have the best night with you", said Roy as just then there was a knock on the door and Roy answered it and his eyes popped out, It was Lanolin in a red and pink lace garter dress with hearts.

"WOW!", exclaimed Roy.

"You ready Lanolin?", asked Roy.

"Always, Roy", said Lanolin.

Then Roy and Lanolin made out and had sex all night moaning and grunting and went to sleep but not before cleaning up their mess and loved each other so much.

End of Story. 


End file.
